You never miss de lager till de keg runs dry! comic Dutch song

              I vonce did keep a beer zaloon, und it was near a school,
Und Oh! de vay I drusted den, showed dot I vos a fool,
Und ofden I remember ven mit cards I used to blay,
My friendts vould round de table sir, un' dis vos vot dey'd say:
Drust not, Jacob, or you never vill get paid,
Make dem seddel for de beer ven id's before dem laid,
Don't you let dem say: "all rite," und gwiekly pass von by,
For you never miss de lager 'till de keg runs dry.

Dere's dwo or dree young fellars, vot come in my zaloon 
Mosd ev'ry nide, und dey get tight, und sleeb dere undill noon;
Dey owe for ev'ryding dey've got, for de lasd dwo, dree year,
But next time dot dey do come in, I'll visper in dere ear:
I von't drust you, for I never vill get paid,
You must seddel for de beer ven id's before you laid,
I von't let you say: "all rite," or else you'll pass me by,
Und I never miss de lager 'till de keg runs dry.

A feller came in dere von day, and ordered drinks for eight,
I asged him for to pay me firsd, for fear I'd be too late;
He said he vos insulded den, und hit me in de snoot,
Und as I laid ubon de floor, on me he used his boot.

Spoken
He kicked me all aroundt de room, un' ven I vould get ub,
he vould knock me down again;
he actually swept de floor mit me.
Oh! dere vos lots of fun (for him.)
De lasd kick he gave me sent my head rite drough a spiddoon;
den he asged me if I wanted any more.
I dold him I vos no hog, und dot I got enough.
I vos daken to de hospidel den, und de docders asged me: "vot ves de fite aboud?"
I dold him from drusding my friends, vot ven I got in a fite,
my friends vould hold my hands, vile some vone else vould kick my head off,
und dot de reason I vos laid up now vos from daking a friend's advice, of

Drust not, Jacob, or you never vill get paid,
Make dem seddel for de beer ven id's before dem laid,
Don't you let dem say: "all rite," or else dey'll pass you by,
Und you'll never miss de lager 'till de keg runs dry.