If you can't do that Salome dance you'll never make a hit with me

              Lucy Johnson gave a birthday party Sunday night;
The guests had all assembled, and the house was filled with light.
Miss Lucy with a tambourine into the parlor pranced,
And said "We'll do the 'Merry Widow' as it should be danced."
They stripp'd the carpet form the floor And moved the bricabrac
When Lucy's steady beau said, "Folks just put that carpet back;
This 'Merry Widow Waltz' is cold, it won't appeal to me,
I'll get some gal to do the only dance I want to see!

Soon the gas was burning low in Johnson's dining room;
The guests in silent wonder sat, half hidden in the gloom.
A maiden gliding in the door began to twist and whirl,
The audience amazed saw it was Johnson's servant girl.
She wore gold earings in her ears, A comb was in her hair,
Except a smile, the poor girl had no other things to wear.
The ladies in a body then rushed off for the police,
Their husbands staid behind to beg for encores, on their knees.

Chorus
If you can't do that Salome dance, you'll never make a hit with me;
That snakey, wriggle, whirling wiggle certainly is the goods, by-gee!
So if you want a chance folks to entrance,
Just learn that old Salome dance,
For if you can't dance Salome,
You'll never make a hit with me.