It ain't gonna rain no mo' modern version of the old southern melody

              Oh! the night was dark and dreary,
The air was full of sleet,
The old man stood out in the storm,
His shoes were full of feet.

Oh! Mosquito he fly high,
Mosquito he fly low,
If old man 'Skeeta light on me,
He ain't gonna fly no mo'.

Oh! a bull-frog sittin' on a lily-pad,
Lookin' up at the skies,
The lily-pad broke and the frog fell in,
Got water all in his eyes.

Oh! a man lay down by a sewer,
And by the sewer he died;
Now at the coroner's request
They called it sewer-side.

Oh! I saw a sign in a hardware store,
"Boy wanted, sixteen years".
Now that's too long to wait for a boy,
It brings eyes to my tears.

Got a li'l ol' dog whose name is Jack,
I wish they'd bring him back,
He chases the big hogs over the fence,
And the little ones through the crack.

Now, Mary had a little lamb,
It had a sooty foot.
In little Mary's bread and jam
His sooty foot he put.

A peanut sittin' on a railroad track,
Its heart was all aflutter.
The train came roarin' round a curve
Toot, toot! Peanut Butter.

I went to see my Susie,
She met me at the door,
Her shoes and stockings in her hand,
And her feet all over the floor.

Oh! they tell me that a grave-yard
Is a dawg-gone lonesome place,
They pull you down into a hole
And throw mud in your face.

Oh! you don't need a barometer
To pick a rainy day,
You can always tell it's gonna rain
When the weather prophets say -

Oh! the bee's a funny animal,
He buzzes round the town,
He's harmless while he walks about,
But he hurts when he sits down.

Mister Asquith is a wise old guy,
For he said "Wait and see!"
But what did Mister Gladstone say
In Eighteen-sixty-three?

Oh! King Solomon had a thousand wives,
And that's the reason why
He often missed his business train
Thro' kissing 'em all 'Good-bye!'

Oh! my hand was squeezed in a picture show,
By a lady, young and sweet,
Then the lights went up, and a big voice cried
"Young man, you've got my seat."

Oh! young Sambo hated Tom-cats,
He bought a cat-a-pult,
He killed a cat on the 14th inst.
And himself on the 16th ult.

Poor ol' Rastus he am balmy,
But he don't mean no harm,
He wears his bed socks on his face
To keep his whiskers warm.

My ole hoss am gone to Heaben,
His tail was short and saddish,
They cut him up to make beef tea,
And it tasted of horse raddish.

Chorus
Oh! it ain't gonna rain no mo', no mo',
It ain't gonna rain no mo',
But how in the world can the old folks tell
It ain't a-gonna rain no mo'.