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Queens Hill Mis July 3d/63
My dearest Jennie
Since my last by Dr. Elam Johnson I have had the pleasure of receiving two devoted, though short letters from you. The first dated April the 9th and sent by Capt. Iton (?) gave me so much if not more pleasure than yours of November 19th/61 when you promised to be mine. Yes my darling woman it relieve me of an anxiety almost insufferable and had it been a letter such as your letter of March 14th by "Cole" I doubt if I could have or would have done any work in a week. In it you complain bitterly of my letter "Febry 27th just received" as being cold[,] dissatisfied and fussy. I can't account for that one's being cold etc. for I was never in a better humour [sic] and I endeavored to write you an interesting and affectionate letter. If I failed you will have to attribute the fault to my not receiving a letter from you in so long a time that I had soured with the world generally. Relative to your feelings being wounded by my letters[,] I think the three letters[:] first (8) pages being sent by mail immediately after the arrival of Sergeant Cold, the second sent by Col. Griffith which you received, and the third by Dr. Johnson I trust will cause you to pardon my past unintentional error for if I ever did hate anything it was in doing that wrong[,] for your feelings are dearer to me than my own. So much in answer to yours of the 9th of April.
Object Description
| Title | Letter to Jennie Adkins, July 3, 1863 |
| Creator | Coleman, John N. |
| Creator Role | Author |
| Creator Information | Major John N. Coleman, Commissary, Third Texas Cavalry, CSA |
| Date | 1863-07-03 |
| Language | English |
| Content Description | Letter written by John N. Coleman to Virginia E. "Jennie" Adkins. |
| Physical Description | ink-written text on unlined paper -- paper shows signs of creasing and very slight staining; overall, paper is excellent quality -- pages five through eight are written horizontally across pages one through four in a second color of ink; this technique was used to conserve paper -- [4 pages of paper, 7 pages of content] |
| Subject - Library of Congress | Coleman, John N. -- Correspondence |
| Coverage - Place | United States - Mississippi - Queens Hill |
| Coverage - Time Period | American Civil War |
| Coverage - Date | 1863-07-03 |
| Transcription |
Queens Hill Mis July 3d/63 My dearest Jennie Since my last by Dr. Elam Johnson I have had the pleasure of receiving two devoted, though short letters from you. The first dated April the 9th and sent by Capt. Iton (?) gave me so much if not more pleasure than yours of November 19th/61 when you promised to be mine. Yes my darling woman it relieve me of an anxiety almost insufferable and had it been a letter such as your letter of March 14th by "Cole" I doubt if I could have or would have done any work in a week. In it you complain bitterly of my letter "Febry 27th just received" as being cold[,] dissatisfied and fussy. I can't account for that one's being cold etc. for I was never in a better humour [sic] and I endeavored to write you an interesting and affectionate letter. If I failed you will have to attribute the fault to my not receiving a letter from you in so long a time that I had soured with the world generally. Relative to your feelings being wounded by my letters[,] I think the three letters[:] first (8) pages being sent by mail immediately after the arrival of Sergeant Cold, the second sent by Col. Griffith which you received, and the third by Dr. Johnson I trust will cause you to pardon my past unintentional error for if I ever did hate anything it was in doing that wrong[,] for your feelings are dearer to me than my own. So much in answer to yours of the 9th of April. Your favor of the 21st ultimo by Dr. A.S. Johnson was handed [to] me last evening and gave me great pleasure to know you had received some of my letters[,] acknowledging the receipt of such letters of yours as I had received up to certain dates. But I regret to learn that some evil one or ones threw a fire brand into your already poisoned mind. I say "poisoned" because of the offence taken in my letter of February 13/63. In answer to such a report as my deceiving you, I will say that if the originators be women, that they would marry a stranger at the shortest conceivable time and would marry for the sake of being able to say that they would not die an old maid. If the accusers be men, they are of that class wherein I warned my sister "Mittie" so particularly against and liken me unto them that is when they married they married a woman and had not the sense to know that every woman wouldn't make a wife. I regret it the more because I plainly discover that you don't want to believe it but fear that it might be so. Well if I am attached to any rich young lady (why not a young maiden) in Tennessee I would be pleased to know her name for upon my word I have no recollection of being introduced to any lady in the start and never saw but one that I would turn around to talk to and never to her but an hour in my life, and my enemies certainly have a poor opinion of me when they think I would marry any woman on one hour's acquaintance. I met the one above mentioned (Miss Williams) by accident[,] for[,] Gen. Whitfield being an old acquaintance of her father's[,] moved his quarters there and caused his staff to follow as soon as the command got over Duck river in Febry [February] and I[,] being about the last to cross[,] went to the house while the Genl [sic] and others were absent and an hour elapsed ere they returned. I did not sit like a dumb person but entered into conversation with her and her mother and found them[,] especially Miss Williams[,] intelligent ladies and will say the most intelligent ones I have met with since I left home. When Genl [sic] Whitfield arrived he brought her affiance and he directed me to go up war [shortened form of "towards"] Springfield to collect stores as the command would move in a day or two[,] and I have never seen her since. Whether she is yet single I am unable to say as I have [no] means of learning. She is a beautiful and accomplished but not rich young lady for the enemy took nearly all of her father's property. I had an affiance whose love was mine and I would not exchange her for all the world because I devotedly loved her and I know my love was reciprocated and what more could man desire unless he be mormon [sic] in principle, which I fear many are[,] judging from their conduct. It is true I want to marry but when I do I want to marry her who has my love and whose love I have and let there be union of hearts besides [sic] two persons. And you are the one with whom I desire to unite because first[,] I am devotedly attached to you and secondly because I believe I can carry out the object of my creation more creditably to myself and honorably to mankind and in accordance more with the teaching of God than with any woman. I have loved you for three years and have never see any cause to regret my choice but everything to be proud one of my chosen one and so long as I believe you love me that woman never was born who could change my affections in the least, not withstanding the opinion of the great city of Marshall to the contrary. When I cease to love you or to even divide my affection[,] if such could be possible I will inform you of the fact, but as long as you continue to love me as you have heretofore, I will be as true to you as the sun is certain to rise and set. Could you wish more? Those who know me best and are my bosom companions would laugh at the falsehood were I to tell them of the accusation, for Nath Gregg[,] who remains with [me] all day and sleeps with me at night was remarking the other day that few wives could say of their husbands what you could of your affiance. That he never seems to care for any woman but her to whom he was engaged[,] he admitted that he himself was not so faithful to his wife so far as he knew than I was to you. I have endeavored since out of your society to so act as to earn your highest esteem and love and to so treat the world as if I had solemnly vowed before man what we promised each other[,] God being the only witness. If I have sinned it has been from the head and not the heart. I solemnly trust that the above is sufficient to convince you that I still and as devotedly love you as I ever did and will continue so to do until some word or act of yours convinces me that you do not love me in return. Don't my letters prove that I dearly worship you. [sic] I would never bother myself as I have when not knowing whether you intended to continue our engagement, but every opportunity I wrote you, not in that style and affectionate sentiment as in former days when nothing marred the reciprocity of our love. Because I first was not capable of writing as a sane (carried to red ink writing on this page) man because of the shock received in reading your letter of March 18th and the fact of not receiving any further intelligence from you, secondly because I did not know whether I was writing to "my darling Jennie" or "Miss Virginia E. Adkins." You are not the only one who noticed that cold[,] dissatisfied sentiment which ruled the right [illegible] my correspondence. You have seen one of my brothers[,] who always could bear up under losses four times as well as I ever could[,] loose [sic] his wife who never was dearer to him than you are to me and his letters for several months seem more to be the production of an insane man than Tom Coleman and if the loss of his wife affected him so much when she died all in the power of man to save her[,] how much more should the loss of you affect me when you plainly tell me that it was I who caused you to suffer so much. To tell you the truth I had rather followed your corpse to the grave and heard the solemn and dismal sound as the death would be [illegible] to know you would break off our engagement for any act of mine[.] I know full well that there are many who are anxious for such a thing and I believe many of these reports start from [a] seeming unintentional remark of theirs and afterward magnify by their friends. I don't include your father in the above. As you have forgiven me for my error and seem desirous to continue our long existing engagement, I wish to make a "truce" as you have often said. I called it while riding from Nebhart's (?) on a certain memorable night to us when you promised to marry me when you arrived at eighteen. The trade or bargain (agreement preferable) is that we will never distrust each other again. Come what may each will believe the other true to promise and something prevents our carrying out this "truce." That we will never accuse each other of negligence or want of love for the other and wherever the accusation is sufficiently respectable we will then not believe it true but agree to inquire of the accused the cause of such accusation and allowing a full explanation. If the report be rumour [sic] we will notice it as winds [in] the minds that blow. We will act on the hypothesis that we love each other better than any body and will not believe to the contrary unless the party accused fails to give a satisfactory explanation to such accusations as may be brought against you and me. That we will write to each other at least twice if not three times a month, filled throughout with affection, for I am fonder of affection than you are[,] hence I put the last consideration for my benefit. I received a short note from Tom on business but he said nothing about Jennette Evans. I always advised Tom against her long before he even knew his lamented wife. She is a woman[,] hence I will not express my opinion of her[,] but endeavor to believe her better than I always took her to be. I am confident that Tom will never court her again for if he does he ought to be shot - no[,] shooting is too respectable. Hanging would be in keeping with the act. I know how she treated him. You must write me a long and devoted letter for you have promise[d] it in your letter of the 9th of April. I never get tired [of] reading your nonsense as you seem pleased to term your writing to me. I have read each of your letters fully a dozen times and will read them every day until I forward them to you. I have been suffering very much for the past two days with a boil on my leg which pains me very much and prevents my riding at all unless I sit sideways on my saddle. With that exception I am in most excellent health and[,] I believe[,] better every day. I have gotten entirely well of diarrhea with which I was afflicted so long and can sleep in a mud hole as comfortable as a feather bed. Feeling that all is right once more between us I am like a new man and can meet my friends with a smile instead of a frown and will enter into the coming engagement with "hearty" will now, knowing I am still loved by those for whom I have been fighting for so long. True you are first, my family next, and my country third. I am unable to learn whether our brigade will enter this fight as infantry or cavalry or whether they will be transferred to another field, as cavalry can do no good here. Be assure[d] of one fact[:] when this fight is over Gen. Johnston will be a greater general than ever Gen. Lee was and mark my prediction that he will have killed and caused the death of more Yankees than any general in the same campaign. He has been equalizing his ground forces by allowing Grant's men to decrease by sickness, while he has been reinforcing all the time until they are nearly equal. Grant has perhaps ten thousand men [at] the most. Johnston and Pemberton's forces amount to over sixty thousand men. Johnston's entire force[s] are encamped within six miles of Big Black river and Gen. Grant has "about faced" Gen. Sherman's and McClernand's corps and they are encamped within three miles of Big Black on the opposite side[,] so you see affairs look warlike. Our brigade are [sic] encamped within three miles and our pickets see the enemy all day long. Yesterday one of the 3d Texas killed one of the Yankees. When the fight is to come off I know not[,] but every one says it will be even before the 10th inst. I will write you as the battle progresses and forward by mail and other chances. My letters will be denoted to Sarah and Mittie and you must visit them every two or three days if you hear of a general engagement. For the present I bid you "my darling Jennie" good bye with a sweet kiss and ask God's grace to keep you in health and spirits and at death to receive you into the kingdom of heaven. Once more sweet one adieu Your devoted affiance J.N. Coleman |
| Collection Title | Guthrie Civil War Letters |
| Institution | Baylor University, Waco, Texas |
| Rights | http://www.baylor.edu/lib/digitization/digitalrights |
| Resource Type | text - letter |
| ID | 1863-07-03 |
Description
| Title | 01 |
| Physical Description | unretouched, non-adjusted scan |
| Transcription |
Queens Hill Mis July 3d/63 My dearest Jennie Since my last by Dr. Elam Johnson I have had the pleasure of receiving two devoted, though short letters from you. The first dated April the 9th and sent by Capt. Iton (?) gave me so much if not more pleasure than yours of November 19th/61 when you promised to be mine. Yes my darling woman it relieve me of an anxiety almost insufferable and had it been a letter such as your letter of March 14th by "Cole" I doubt if I could have or would have done any work in a week. In it you complain bitterly of my letter "Febry 27th just received" as being cold[,] dissatisfied and fussy. I can't account for that one's being cold etc. for I was never in a better humour [sic] and I endeavored to write you an interesting and affectionate letter. If I failed you will have to attribute the fault to my not receiving a letter from you in so long a time that I had soured with the world generally. Relative to your feelings being wounded by my letters[,] I think the three letters[:] first (8) pages being sent by mail immediately after the arrival of Sergeant Cold, the second sent by Col. Griffith which you received, and the third by Dr. Johnson I trust will cause you to pardon my past unintentional error for if I ever did hate anything it was in doing that wrong[,] for your feelings are dearer to me than my own. So much in answer to yours of the 9th of April. |
| Rights | http://www.baylor.edu/lib/digitization/digitalrights |
